بند گلی
Na Da Malooma Shwa Ihsasa Che Cha Wowjulum
Na Da Malooma Shwa Che Cha May Khunbaha Waghista 33
Pa Durdnak Door K Bad Hal Sra Mukh Shway Yuma
Zah D Durduno, Da Zawal Sra Mukh Shway Yuma 34
Dy La Janat Wistalee Insane Tha Kho Ghyrat Pakar Wa
Pa Dagha Zamka Kho Pa Her Surat Janat Pakar Wa 35
(O Ihsas! Neither it is known that who has not killed me nor it is known that who has taken the price of my death. I am facing the worst situation in the most painful time of my life. Helplessness, hopelessness and degradation are all around me. This paradise lost on Adam (human) must have to show some honor and dignity and this earth must need to have a paradise in any situation)
For people of Parachinar violence, bomb blasts & deaths are part of their life.
It is hard to find single family in Parachinar who has not lost someone in a blast or fight. Every family has a history of that. Maisam has lost two of his cousins in those conflict. Hamid Husain & Rehmat Husain.
Maisam : The elder one had a wife & two kids, He used to be security guard in Alizai (Shia majority area near Sadda). One day Taliban attacked, He tried defending himself by throwing bricks & stones at them & then he was confronted by the suicide bomber, He tried to stop that too & then you can imagine what had happened.
The thing is that the ones who get killed in such way have devastating after effects on their loved ones. His mother who comes to our home often is mentally disturbed after losing his sons.
I knew so many moments like that it is like standing in the dead end or getting stuck in snow storm. You cannot go forward & do not want to turn back.
Maisam: I had so many friends there. Some of them you know about like Kumail & Kamran.
You have met Kumail the hazara boy who had taken you to meet Kamran & his family.
I was in 9th class and we had a competition. My Friend Kamran was participating in that, He was very close to me and it was very emotional for me as I have many memories with him. There was a blast and people were protesting so FC personal had taken out tanks and bullet proof vehicles. Our people were emotional as they were saying that the Sunni mosque had Taliban in it. FC were trying to stop the protesters.
So Firing started so that friend of mine was shot in that encounter.
Kumail is a Shia Hazara living in Parachinar who had been classmate & close friend to both Maisam & Kamran. When I was in Parachinar he was the one who got me to Kamran’s house which is in Shiblan. Kamran’s grave is near his house so we stopped to say our prayers for the martyr & then we left for his house where we met his mother & brother. His brother was translating everything.
Kamran’s mother : He loved studying, He would mostly secure highest grade in his class. He was organized & fancied cleanliness, He would always carry himself much better than the boys of his age. Once in winter when it was snowing, Kamran & his cousins & friends had gone out to enjoy snowfall, The whole place was covered with snow.
When they came back other’s had snow on their hair & shoulder but Kamran was as neat as snow has not touched him. I started to tease him & said you must have been somewhere else as i can not see any snow on your head, to which he replied “I am the one who keep himself as I’ve heard that Cleanliness is the half of faith, I have secured half of it & about the other half we will see.
She smiled with tears in her eyes
Kamran’s mother: someone had taken a photograph of that day, Let me show you that & I have saved some of his books too.
We were walking back to the car (Me & Kumail) & having casual conversation.
Kumail : You know, I was a closer friend to Kamran then his other friends, I had conversations with him that no one else had. He was disturbed by everything that was happening around & wanted to change but did not know how,
He used to go there & scream & cry loudly, Now if we think about it he had told everything that he had inside with this.
It is clear, when does one scream or cry? when one is genuinely disturbed & when does one get that depressed or disturbed.?
When one sees the circumstances that he had witnessed & experienced.After all he was just another human.
There was this place , He told me that he would go there or any place where he could find solitude like the ones we saw on our way here.
His thoughts were different & when he used to witness the circumstances & situation that he was in, He used to see all of that in a very different perspective. He would get angry & stressed & question everything that was happening around him. If we see things with our inner eyes, everything that is or was happening, is not right. The circumstances made him go to that place & scream & cry his heart out. These are the personal things that I am telling you. I have told no one. This was the way he used to express his anger, sadness & everything.
Maisam did that with his work, with his sketches, paintings, Sculptures & still continues to do so.
In graveyard you will find graves with flags on them. Those are all martyrs. In every village you will find ton of those. It has now become a norm.
Once I heard in a poem in which poet had said “If you repeat something over and over again it loses its meaning.”
These things has repeated so much that now it has lost its meaning but with that our people has lost the meaning of life, loss, peace, death, home & many other things.
“Naa poha di da aman aw wahdat na khabar na di / Sukoon zama da qaam bachi la banga raobasi” –
(“They are unaware of the fruits of unity and peace / The youth of my nation is trying to find peace in weeds”)
(Jalal Khalil)